In an effort to find simplicity and order in my incredibly complex world, I have over the last few years craved structure in a way I never have previously. I have become a chronic list maker, a goal setter.
And now I have a secret to admit.
It hasn't worked for me.
It hasn't simplified my life, brought more joy, or helped me achieve more. My lists of things to do glare at me. I have always called them my "to do" lists- but if I'm honest, they have become my "things I haven't done" lists. And looking at them makes me feel uneasy rather then inspired.
I set goals. I often don't reach them. I take the things I love (music, craft, looking after my body, blogging....even friendship!) and turn it into a chore. Once it's on a list, it's a thing I "should" be doing. And once you "should" be doing something there is danger of failure and guilt.
Somewhere over the past few years I have confused my desire for a simpler life with something else entirely. I think I was trying to write lists and set goals in order to better myself as a person, to contain what I was doing each day, to stay focused on the life I wanted for myself and my family. These are all good things, and if they work for you then I am happy (if not slightly jealous!) for you.
But I'm a free spirit. Spontaneous, cheeky, care free. My lists have been holding me back. They haven't left room for the magic to happen.
So, it's goodbye to living off lists for me. I've been clinging to them for so long now, hoping they would bring a sense of order into my crazy world. But they have added to the stress. I'll keep a diary to stay remotely organised and establish a few simple rhythms that will help and nurture my family and myself, but I think it's time to lose the rest.
Are you a list writer? Do you find them useful?
Mezz xo
PS I'll be keeping the shopping list! Shopping lists are awesome!
I'm an on and off list writer. I know the feeling of having that ever so long list and feeling disappointed when one thing crossed off equals at least two new things added.
ReplyDeletex
p.s. I'm all for the shopping list too
I'm with Zara too. An on off list maker. I had looking at a list and seeing all the things I HAVEN'T done staring back at me. I often make a list for the supermarket..........and then accidently leave it at home. x
ReplyDeleteI'm a born again list maker. And yes, I do find them useful because I've got a terrible memory. Though, I know exactly what Zara means about being disappointed when more and more things are added to a list and nothing gets crossed off - which is very much the situation at the moment. Oh dear....xx
ReplyDeleteI am a list maker at times, but not always and I don't live by them, but I do love a good list!! You have to do what is right for you though, and it sounds as though you have found exactly what works for you and I think that is great!! Stick with it! xx
ReplyDeleteI love lists. I have about two note books full of things I need to do/want to do/ideas etc. I hate the feeling of forgetting something. Something get totally forgotten and months later will read it and then I get excited (most times). But good on you for removing something that's not lifting you up!!
ReplyDeletebarbour international sale See barbour sale womens cheap upright posture nodded, thinking to myself, I could not even so students can educate my teaching methods might really be successful if barbour international sale written in a book, barbour international sale perhaps we can make a killing. Then there was a lady in front of it barbour international sale coquettish body, immediately barbour sale outlet let him thirsty. Suddenly woke up still in school, not in the Red .
ReplyDeleteThe outrage machine then gets cranked up and Halloween ends up being cheap running shoes australia sale a sad reminder of why we can't have nice things. So, to the people and things below, screw you, you're ruining this great holiday for everyone else. Just why? nike free run australia sale It's not funny. It's not clever. The Ray Rice costume is this year's Trayvon Martin costume, and yes,Athletic Footwear Australia Sale it should make you feel physically ill that a sentence like that can even exist.
ReplyDeleteThis year became very frenetic and emotional for me. I lost (while being deeply involved in their care for quite some time) an elderly friend and my dear old furry friend. I was also increasingly busy anyway. I didn't know which way was up half the time. So for the first time ever, I needed a diary and to make lists. Like you though, I found they added to the anxiety and instead of me just looking at them to jolt my memory, they became tormentors of all the things I had yet to do to tick off my list. And then it kept on growing so it was never clear. Things seem to have calmed down again and I can stop with all my lists. I'm glad about that as they made me uptight and miserable! Good for you on getting rid of yours.
ReplyDeleteSara