I'm chucking out my big, fat, long "to do" list. Actually, make that lists.
In an effort to find simplicity and order in my incredibly complex world, I have over the last few years craved structure in a way I never have previously. I have become a chronic list maker, a goal setter.
And now I have a secret to admit.
It hasn't worked for me.
It hasn't simplified my life, brought more joy, or helped me achieve more. My lists of things to do glare at me. I have always called them my "to do" lists- but if I'm honest, they have become my "things I haven't done" lists. And looking at them makes me feel uneasy rather then inspired.
I set goals. I often don't reach them. I take the things I love (music, craft, looking after my body, blogging....even friendship!) and turn it into a chore. Once it's on a list, it's a thing I "should" be doing. And once you "should" be doing something there is danger of failure and guilt.
Somewhere over the past few years I have confused my desire for a simpler life with something else entirely. I think I was trying to write lists and set goals in order to better myself as a person, to contain what I was doing each day, to stay focused on the life I wanted for myself and my family. These are all good things, and if they work for you then I am happy (if not slightly jealous!) for you.
But I'm a free spirit. Spontaneous, cheeky, care free. My lists have been holding me back. They haven't left room for the magic to happen.
So, it's goodbye to living off lists for me. I've been clinging to them for so long now, hoping they would bring a sense of order into my crazy world. But they have added to the stress. I'll keep a diary to stay remotely organised and establish a few simple rhythms that will help and nurture my family and myself, but I think it's time to lose the rest.
Are you a list writer? Do you find them useful?
PS I'll be keeping the shopping list! Shopping lists are awesome!