Indulge: to enjoy something desired
Nurture: cherish (a hope, belief, or ambition)
I was very challenged earlier this year by a wonderful book called "The Divided Heart" by
Rachel Power. In it, she speaks with many artists who are also mums and reflects back on her different conversations in each chapter. It's a must read for any mother/artist, whatever art form you may create in! I remember one of her interviewees said something along the lines of "women are really good at indulging ourselves, but terrible at nurturing ourselves" and that has really stuck with me these past few months. I think I often confuse the two!
For instance,
sleep. I'm not a morning person...of course I'm not, I'm a muso!! I like staying up late and totally hate waking up early. Yet the reality is I have two kids, including one who needs to be at school at 9am every morning. When I indulge in a sleep in (which I do quite often!) then our mornings are frantic. I get stressed, I rush the kids, sometimes I turn into a crazy screaming lady, I don't have time to deal calmly with the little hiccups that occur between two kids, we forget to return school permission forms and get to school late. You get the picture!! But, on the rare morning when I get up a little bit before the kids, have a quiet cuppa and just a bit of time to myself before the kids wake, it is ALWAYS Good. No exception. Always. Good. So I have to learn that indulging in an extra 40 minutes in bed is no way near as great as nurturing myself and my family by giving myself those precious moments to my self, no matter how much I think I hate mornings.
Here's another one:
Food!! I like to indulge!! In fact, this past year has seen me invent my very own diet. I call it the "CH" diet...that is where you generally only eat things starting with a "CH"....cheese, chips and chocolate. It's not a very good diet, I know, and for the first time in my life (as quite a small person who has never had to think too much about my weight,) I've noticed a couple of kgs creep on, and a few favourite dresses not quite fit any more! I know it's because this year when I've been stressed, tired, overwhelmed, in need of some sort of comfort I have indulged myself with food, rather than nurtured myself with food! So what would a nurturing diet look like, I wonder? I have a feeling it would include many earthy foods..lots of things straight from the garden, things that give me energy, things that are full of vitamins, things that make my body and mind feel good!
I have also recognised only recently that I over indulge in
technology!! Up until this year, I had resisted things like facebook, twitter, smart phones...I had never heard of Instagram and pod casts! I avoided social media for a long time, but felt that I was starting to "fall behind", so found it important to include some of these things in my life in order to remain connected in. Using social media has actually been great, and more enjoyable then I expected. I feel connected to loved ones, I've built up a larger following for my music and blog, and I can totally see how my recent creative venture
"Hundreds and Thousands Magazine" would not have happened at all without the use of social media. But like many people who find a new thing that's kinda fun, I have indulged.... and indulged a lot. I have hardly been able to switch my smart phone off since I got it. I forget to actually enjoy moments, because I'm trying to take photos of them and then I'm busy choosing one to crop, filter and post on Instagram..and when I look up the great moment I just posted online has passed me by. I am often with my kids but not really "with them" because I'm checking something really important like my facebook page for the third time that morning. I have even been known to feel like sewing, but then think "Oh no, I can't because my camera and phone aren't charged", as if creating things is only of any benefit if I can share on the internet what I have made. This is madness!!
But. I know that when I put limits around these things, they can nurture my soul. Sharing things that I really care about with you guys on my blog, checking into facebook occasionally to remain connected, sitting down with a cuppa once the kids are asleep and enjoying all the lovely pics everybody posts on Instagram, rather then constantly looking at it all day!
So, to indulge or to nurture. That is the crossroads that I am currently at. I hope with all my heart that I can day by day consider more ways in which I can nurture myself, rather than indulge. There are so many things I know I can do to nurture my mind, my heart, my creativity, my body, my family!! I need to daily remind myself to choose to nurture, even if it isn't as quick, easy or as instantly gratifying as indulging myself!!
I don't normally write like this on my blog, but I know many of my readers are mums, creatives, women, partners, and I'm really keen to share my thoughts on this with you all, and to also hear what your thoughts are on the matter!!!????
Mezz xoxo
PS Still a few more days if you want to join in with my
Christmas gift tag swap!!
.jpg)
